I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize