he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
