oh god the rape fog is back!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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