Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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