Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
