I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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