just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Less talking, more tequila
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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