i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
