I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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