Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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