They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
where are my eyebrows?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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