ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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