Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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