the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
