i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
