I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You are a genius and a whore.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
