I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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