I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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