We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
