So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize