We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
