considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
is wine microwaveable?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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