I got chris browned last night
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
