I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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