This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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