If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
