I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
