Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
we should paint friendship bongs
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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