She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
