What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
