This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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