tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
