i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
