Apparently you make a good broom.
Can Purell be used as lube?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Someone signed my nipple.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
