booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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