Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize