Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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