Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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