I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
