He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
