i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
