dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
