I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
