She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
