Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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