Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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