i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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