There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
