Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
