The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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