Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
