Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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