just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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