I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
