Don't make out with my wife yet
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
