I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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