Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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