distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
