Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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