think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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