part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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