Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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