In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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