I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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