Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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