What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
