I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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