I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize