After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
